don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I think I am morally bankrupt
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize