ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
BRING THE BAGELS
I need water and some morals
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
