ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
