brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
