Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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