Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
