You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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