You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
