5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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