what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
