The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
