If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
