I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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