There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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