Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
