Umm I'm too high to move.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
