I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
