I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
