just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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