so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
false alarm. still invincible.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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