You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
