If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
