the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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