hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
