White coat. Heels.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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