all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
