It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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