Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Sacagawea was the original milf.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
