i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
