And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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