he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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