Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
