You're my little dorito
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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