I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
