im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize