I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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