you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize