Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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