if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
