What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
