I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
