i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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