My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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