***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
