i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I cut my penus on the lid.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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