College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
