got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
