I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
