90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
