Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
