do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize