I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize