Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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