You're completely useless in the revolution.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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