the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
