it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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