Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
