Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
