In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
bring money and cleavage
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
