the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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