i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
