im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
