She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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