When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
