I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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