Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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