At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i barfeds in our rink
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
