The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I need water and some morals
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
