What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize