College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
