Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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