I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize